Archive for the ‘Lessons’ Category

One fabulous lesson I’ve learned this past year is to deal with people’s personalities and their motivation. Now, for those people who are not me, this is common sense. But this revelation was so insightful. You see, I live in this happy little Rose-colored glasses bubble and sometimes think that everyone sees things the way I do. Of course, that is ridiculous, because, as I ironically believe, no one thinks or feels the same way about anything. But my approach, as chaotic as it is, to most things in life is just what works and seems so logical. It escapes me how some people think, act and do. Not everyone, but some people. I’m just not built that way. Anyway.

During my shift today, I had the opportunity to take a personality quiz. It was a bit more insightful than those online social media apps in which your random answers generate an even more random result. I’ll share mine more in a moment.

When I read my outcome and saw in stark black and white my strengths, weaknesses, motivations and fears, I was pleased. I knew that it was 98% right on. But then I thought about some evening magazine show I watched years ago that had similar testing on subjects who were skeptics regarding horoscopes. The testers gave the testees a phoney personality self assessment of likes, dislikes, et cetera, and then gave each member of the testing group a result. Almost all info given was quite positive. Each participant seemed pleased with the results and proclaimed something to the effect that it must be true. But the veil was lifted and the horoscope results were revealed to not be their own but those of some multinamed serial killer. Chilling. This relates to my thought because I was so pleased and saw myself in the list I was given today, but for only a second did I consider if the other possible outcomes could be equally beneficent.

As my analytical and mayhaps paranoid mind worked this little puzzle that wasn’t, I read each possible profile outcome, and while there were good and bad, pro and con for each, none really seemed to fit me. So, my little serial killer theory was nil. Whew! On paper, I’m a pretty decent gal. I have flaws, but we all do. Overall, and I must boast, I have a GREAT personality.

This exercise was given out by a leader of that unit on which I toiled today in order to better staff for maximum proficiency and a more positive dynamic. That sounded so good in theory, I’m trying to figure out a way to incorporate it into my scenes.

I can’t even think about it just yet, because I first need to share my results…the way the answers were derived seemed childish. Two columns of preferences list, side by side certain aspects you either agree with or don’t. Different letters are next to each: B,G,Y or R. These represent a color. You select either the left or right option for each row and then add up your letters. It turns out my Dominant personality is represented by Y, or Yellow. I have a blend of B/G. These are not representing your aura, although that would be interesting too. It’s just a key to the personality profiles. Here is what yellow means: My strengths apparently, are being people oriented (because yeah, sure, I’m sooo shy.) I’m flexible, and love to talk. Check, check and double check. It states my weaknesses include time problems, lacks enough facts, doesn’t listen. Well, I agree with the time management thing….and I do listen. I just have ADD so I might space out before you get to your… It indicates a fear is social disapproval. Well, maybe. I don’t want to care what others think, and for many things, I have enough confidence in myself to not, but for other things, well, approval is nice. The B/G mix indicates some of my gestures, I guess. Direct gaze, relaxed stance, gestures used sparingly. As if! I use my hands so much when I talk, that I have hurt myself. (Grace is not my middle name, Mom always said.) It further adds that I lean back, eyebrows raised, with controlled gestures. The first set was blue; second, green. So, this part was less accurate. I am very demonstrative, in facial expressions (much to my detriment. No, I promise I’m NOT thinking anything/mad/sad) and in my physical body language.

Oh goodness, there’s more pages! So then it goes to further evaluate me. Or what this test says is me.
“Yellow/blues have natural ability in all aspects of the job.” Well, ok. “They sell ideas or services with emotions and word pictures.” That might be my favorite part. (It’s says I’m a writer! Then dang! I must be.) “They are well organized and have a competitive spirit.” Meh. “They get along with most everyone and welcome change.” I guess. And to be more effective I should conciiously deal with high energy and my need to change to control. (It’s MY blog, darnit.) They need a variety of tasks and help with more routine tasks. Hellooooo. ADD

Then, because this test skewed me into a Y/G mix too, I have more almost right descriptions. I feel like I made enough of a point to stop there. Another page describes my yellow dominant. But I, again, digress.

The point is how could I apply this to writing? I really could. You see, on the first page it describes some gestures based on personality. And there are descriptions of a variety of talents, fears, etc. I could so do a character outline just from this exercise!

So, long story short… too late?…How do you get into the nooks and crannies of your character? Add those fine tuning aspects that make them leap from the page. This is one tool that certainly can help. Me anyway…

No, I’m not singing ‘vintage’ songs…I’m communicating with my daughter. I’ve always known, and been taught that nonverbal cues constitutes the majority of our communication. So after three attempts at telling my daughter to put on socks to no avail, I put both hands on my hips, pursed my lips and glared at her, wide eyed with my eyebrows raised. No foot tapping occurred. But she took one look at me, detoured back upstairs and voila! No longer barefooted.

This got me to thinking about my writing and how I could make it stronger. Without words I compelled my sweet baby to do something. So, without telling you, the reader, I could explain the nonverbal cues, and compel you to feel and experience what the characters do/say/feel/hear/et cetera.

I wish it were that easy.

It is said that in life, every person you meet has the potential to touch and affect your life; and you, theirs. Yesterday was such a day for me. In my day job, I met a remarkable young woman and her husband. Jennifer and Steve O’Neill. Their pleasant demeanor and open personalities are not the only traits making them so spectacular. Their inr love for eachother, while exceptional and beautiful to behold, and quite inspiring, drew me to them. But their story, their struggle, and their positive attitude: these are what piqued my interest and my compassion.

At  first, it was another report, another patient. “You have a young female patient who has had a bilateral mastectomy.” Further information was given as to the particulars of her care; what was necessary to hear in order to provide her with the plan set forth from the physician. I’m not so callous that just a name or just a diagnosis is how I see my patients. But sometimes, a face, a story to match those benign identifiers makes their case all the more special. She never was just, “the mastectomy in 57. ”

But I went about my day. I did my best as her nurse to serve her. Attended to her pain. Held my breath with her as she saw her chest for the first time. (Jennifer, I really did.) Listened as she told and retold her story.  And became amazed at her fortitude.

Near the end of the day she told me about being on a website for cancer patients and their trials and tribulations.Caringbridge.org
Jennifer

Knowing she’d be discharged home before I arrive to my next shift I gave her and received a beautiful hug wishing her well. And this post is my public prayer for her. Keep me informed, Jen, and I’ll watch for you on Caringbridge!

Thank you for touching my life. As I said, you have affected mine. I’m hopeful I help you in yours.

The whirring slowed and she lifted the lid of the machine. Towels sat there, wrung out and damp. The rough texture scratched her skin. Picking up the first towel, she heard a clitter-clatter sound. That doesn’t sound like coins. She shook out the towel. Clack, clackity clack. Leaning in for a closer look were some small white…things. Is that candy Nerds? Ugh, kids. The small pebble rolled between her finger and thumb were not sticky. Hmm. not candy, plastic. She reached in for the next towel. Clickety, clickety clickety! Hundreds of little plastic beads.

She reached in and removed article by article, dispelling more vile balls as she went. Once all were removed, towels, not beads, she tried to scoop the errant things. To no avail. Ah, but plastic floats. She clickes the machine on. As the water rises, so do the beads. Some of them. Hmm.

The tub filled, and she plucked one or two out. They bobbed as she reached for them. She skimmed the surface but saw that they swayed away with the current. The roll of paper towels caught her eyes. Without conscious thought, she placed a sheet on her hand and swept through the water. It’s not net, but it’ll do.  The surface gleaned of all the alien objects she began to scoop in the soap. But before the first powdered flake fell, bubbles appeared in the water as one by one, more beads floated up. Realizing now more must be trapped under the tumbler, she agitated the water, manually twisted the plastic tube. 

And so it went, skimming the water, bobbing for plastics, agitating the water. At least twenty times. Just when she thought she was done, one more agitation brought dozens of floating vile things.

This is a true story. One that took over an hour to complete. Is it finishes? Nay. And again I say, “Nay.” I’ve washed clothes since then, about three loads, and still some beads appear. 

Moral of the story: Never wash a stuffed toy. (And to think my dog played with it…)

The Romance Divas annual Not Going to Conference Conference will make you feel a bit less deprived! Amazing workshops, a star-studded guest list and awesome giveaways, all on the Diva forum! Don’t miss it!

Here’s a bit of a schedule update for the Q&As and Workshops…

Wednesday, July 30

Paula Guran, Editor, Juno Books
Q&A on Creating Kick a** Heroines

Laurie Rauch, Editor, Samhain Publishing
Workshop on What Happens After the Contract (aka Editors are People Too!)*

Thursday July 31

Joyce Hart, Hartline Literary
Q&A on Inspirational Romance Stories and the Inspy Market

Sandra Schwab, Historical Romance Author
Workshop on Historical Accuracy and Anachronisms

Friday, August 1

Yolanda Sfetsos, Author of Guarded by Stone
Q&A on Paranormal and Urban Fantasy World Building

Katie MacIver, KatieDidDesign
Workshop on Website Design and Color Selection

Saturday, August 2

Joey W. Hill, Erotica Author
Workshop on Plotting Erotica and Erotic Romance

Rhonda Stapleton, Editor and Author
Workshop on Style and Voice

How about if I list some door prizes?

• What Gwen said” mug donated by Gwen Hayes
• 3-chapter critique of a YA by Simon Pulse author Rhonda Stapleton
• 3-chapter critique of a YA, chick lit, or rom com by Golden Heart Finalist Amanda Brice
• An ebook of your choice from Nell Dixon’s backlist
• An ebook of either Second Sight (paranormal romance) or Dragons’ Choice (fantasy romance – dragon-shifters) from Debbie Mumford
• Ten dollar Amazon gift certificate from Jodi Henley
• Lush stuff from Seeley deBorn
• e-book copy of Chasing Shadows from Erin Richards
• Paperback copy of Iron Horse Rider OR Smiling Eyes from Adelle Laudan
• Book thongs from Angeleque Ford
• 3 chapter critique from Sela Carsen
• winner’s choice of ebook copy of “Not Quite Dead” or “Heart of the Sea” by Sela Carsen
• e-book copy of HEATWAVE by Eden Bradley
• e-book copy of BREAKING SKYE by Eden Bradley
• a box of goodies, trade and paperbacks, bath products candles, etc… All for a fun and relaxing home spa day treat. courtesy of The Midnight Moon Cafe
• 1 download each of Natasha Moore’s Samhain books, The Ride of Her LIfe and The Passion-Minded Professor
• a copy of “Painted Soul” by Mary Quast
• e-book copy of HER CINDERELLA COMPLEX by Jenna Bayley-Burke – Samhain
• e-book copy of PAR FOR THE COURSE by Jenna Bayley-Burke – Samhain
• e-book copy of FOUND by Jenna Bayley-Burke – Wild Rose Press
• e-book copy of NIGHT OF INSPIRATION by Jenna Allen – Phaze
• e-book copy of ON AGAIN by Jenna Allen – Phaze
• $10 gc to Amazon from Kendal Corbitt
• ebook Vampire Oracle: Harmony by MG Braden
• Ebook ARC, Art of Sensuality by Jax Cassidy

Plus a lovely bar of wonderful Chagrin Valley hand made soap, Caramel Pralines jar candle, handmade jewelry, Tarot readings, a Lush box for European Divas/Dudes, a $10 fictionwise gc and much more!